In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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