Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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