Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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