my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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