Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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