I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
