i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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