Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize
