You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
