Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize