I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He better not be in your backpack
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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