Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
bring money and cleavage
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
