i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize