I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
