just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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