I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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