you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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