I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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