Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
