In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
