we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
