I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize