his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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