i'm lost and i look like a hooker
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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