sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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