sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
