Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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