Barsexuality is the new black.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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