I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
