i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
