she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
