I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize