apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
