You made me cry and you don't even care
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize