You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
