This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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