Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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