some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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