Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i came on her dog
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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