i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
