life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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