The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
