In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
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