He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
