Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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