Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
