you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
