i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
