When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
These tits shall not be calmed
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