Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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