Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
