i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
