She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize