I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
