If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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