Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I'm really into asian looking animals
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
