vagina is talking i cant
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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