I CAN MOONWALK!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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