How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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