Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
