she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you didnt know i had herpes?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
