protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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