Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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