I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
