I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
