South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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