I wanna bring you to show and tell
Acid is not a monday night drug
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
