i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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