Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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